there are three and one-half days of school left. but, as we all know, they are fake days. days that have to happen because the school year has to end, but grades have already been turned in so any work that's done isn't gonna be graded. which drives me bonkers. i hate busy work. hate it. with a passion.

but, to be fair, it is all over for #1. he had his last final today and only needs to return to school to retrieve his final report card. #2 is left with only field trips. 3 days of field trips and one half day of p.a.r.t.y. and it's nice to see that their teachers are not propagating the the-last-week-of-school-is-a-real-week-of-school lie. but for #3, the lie lives. he's got a regular ol' week coming up. with "maybe a few quizzes" (so he says). but, i'm starting to think that maybe #3 has it all figured out.

seems they were only looking for some kindlin' to start a good marshmallow roasting fire.
good cover story, don't ya think?

#3's class went on a field trip to the fire station this week. he came home all excited and i couldn't figure out exactly why. he's been on a school field trip to the fire station, several, as a matter of fact. but after i got the details of this particular field trip i have a much better understanding of why an 8 yr. old boy might think this was the coolest field trip ever.

just what might make a field trip to the fire station all that? well, the kids were promised that there would most likely be an opportunity to operate a fire extinguisher. how fun is that?? what wasn't mentioned was that they would be putting out an actual fire with the fire extinguisher. an actual fire that the firemen themselves started right there in front of the entire 3rd grade from #3's school. an actual fire that they started by pouring gasoline on the ground right there in front of the entire 3rd grade from #3's school. and then lighting a match. i wouldn't be telling the truth if i said i wasn't ever so slightly disturbed by this. and this is one of those times that i'm seriously hoping #3 doesn't have his facts exactly right. because if he does, it seems to me that about 42 8 & 9 yr old boys and girls now know how to use accelerant to start a fire. and i don't think that was on the permission slip that the school sent home.

i'm not the youngest in my family so i have no idea what it's like to be the last, the baby. i do know a youngest, but i don't think he's a reliable source. from what i remember he was the one who got away with everything and i'm pretty sure my parents thought he was the bomb. so trying to figure out how my youngest thinks and feels isn't all that easy for me and my source for this analysis is a little unorthodox, but i think i'm starting to figure it out. see for the past 6 months, maybe even a year, i think something has been weighing heavy on #3's mind. after consulting the best experts money can buy google i think i have it all figured out. he's not happy as the baby. he wants what #1 has... maybe he even wants to be #1. it's kind of like when jacob stole esau's blessing and since #1 isn't hairy, #3 has found the next best thing. i will now produce exhibit a - and give a little bit of the back story.

here's exhibit a only...

the labels on this picture fit the original post. names have been changed since then. now it would be, the man, me, #1, #2, #3

one day i was out running errands and i glanced into the rear view mirror and noticed something wasn't right with the #1 on the rear window of my car. i figured the sticker was coming apart. slowly, more and more of #1 went missing. enough that friends had begun a #1 watch and they would report to me anytime more of him was gone. i couldn't figure it out. then i caught him - #3 was scraping a small piece of #1 off the window and cackling one of those mad scientist kind of laughs - i was surprised i hadn't figured it out sooner. #3 was slowly trying to blot out #1. peal him out of existence. now, i'm thinking if i was the baby and i knew that was never, ever, going to change maybe i would take some drastic measure. and the audacity of skipping over #2 - of course, i'm pretty sure no one would really choose to be the middle (trust me, i know what i'm talking about) - to go straight for the oldest - what moxie. Perhaps he's been doing a little internet research of his own and found this...

a child's birth order position may be seized by another child if circumstances permit

and this is just the circumstance he needed.

then again, i could be missing it all together and it's not #1's birth right he's after, he just wants the spot next to mom, after all, that spot is the bomb.